Female intuition is a powerful force and it appears to be particularly relevant when is comes to pre-wedding nerves. Psychologists at UCLA have found that wives who had doubts about marrying their husbands are two-and-a-half times more likely to get divorced within 4 years than wives who didn’t have such doubts. Furthermore, wives who had cold feet but did not divorce are considerably more likely to be dissatisfied in their marriage after 4 years than those who had complete confidence in their relationships. Whilst more husbands appear to have doubts, women’s premonitions prove far more ominous, suggesting that their fears stem from deep-rooted relationship problems.
UCLA’s psychologists asked 232 Los Angeles couples who had recently married if they had had ever been “uncertain or hesitant” about getting married, and regularly resurveyed the couples over a 4 year period finding that:
• 38% of wives had pre-wedding doubts, compared with 47% of husbands
• 19% of wives with doubts were divorced 4 years later, versus 8% of those without doubts
• 14% of husbands with doubts were divorced after 4 years, compared with 9% without doubts.
• 36% of couples had no doubts of which 6% divorced, whereas when both partners had pre-wedding hesitation, 20% divorced
• When only the husband had doubts, only 10% of couples divorced, but where the wife had doubts, 18% of couples divorced.
This shows that when women have doubts about their relationship, it is far more likely to fail, perhaps suggesting that they are better than men at detecting when a relationship is troubled. The study further discovered that doubt is the common denominator in marriage breakdown.
So what does this mean for doubtful fiancées?
If you have such doubts, you’ll know well before your wedding day, and you should not ignore these concerns. Relationship counsellors and support bodies like Relate can offer great advice even if you are not yet married. You may also wish to involve your friends and family who know your personality and can help you to make a decision.
Our family law and divorce solicitors will never rush you with into divorce. Unusually for a law firm, we work closely alongside marriage counsellors and it is not unusual for us to refer clients to them – in an attempt to save the marriage.